We have been living in Italy for one month now. Paula suggested that we each write an update on where we are regarding “trying on Italy” and post it online prior to sharing it with each other. So here goes …
This is really hard. I had anticipated that after a month of living here, I’d have a pretty good idea of what I would want to do. I think that I am just as conflicted as I was when I got off the airplane in Rome a month ago.
There is something that really tugs at the heart and soul about life here. Italy seems to foster, in daily life, more connection with the land, weather, and people. The morning visit to a local bar for a cappuccino. The local market where one can buy fresh produce directly from a farmer. Cooking simple meals in a modest kitchen which taste amazing because everything is in season, fresh, not genetically modified or saturated with chemicals. Our windows are frequently open, so we hear the sounds of life outside – bird songs, children playing, etc. Breezes enter through the house, sometimes bringing just fresh air, sometimes the smells of someone cooking in a nearby kitchen.
On the weekends, there is frequently a sagra or some other type of festa in a town nearby. A sagra celebrates a local specialty. We went to one for polenta three weeks ago. Two weeks ago, we went to one for tartufo. Today we are going to one for the asparagus which is in season at this time and grows wild. It is different than the asparagus bought in a store …. the wild type is thin, delicate, and intensely flavored.
The late afternoons here are special. There are a maze of ancient streets and pathways that have no or minimal motorized vehicles. The main ones are filled in the late afternoon with people doing the evening passeggiata. This walk or stroll seems to be a staple of life. It is filled with grandparents, young couples, teenagers, and young children playing soccer in the piazza. Sometimes people gather on the benches to visit. The bars have small tables outside and having an aperitivo, such as a spritz, is a popular way to enjoy winding down at the end of the day.
Another special thing about the Italian culture is that most business are small, and family owned and operated. This personal investment in a business does change the dynamic in relationships with customers. In the four short weeks we’ve been here, we’ve gotten to know the owners of several restaurants, bars, and gelaterias!
In the evenings, even in this modest size town we are staying in, there are frequent public events. A few weeks ago we went to an orchestra concert that was held in an opera theatre. The tickets were only 5 Euros a person. Another night we watched an Italian film in a local theatre. This was in a building that was initially constructed many centuries ago but has been repurposed to show films.
The lower cost of living is something else that is a pleasant surprise. We had noticed this before, but with the recent runup in inflation in the U.S. over the last two years, the price differential is way more apparent.
So, back to the question. Am I ready to move here?
This is a dilemma for me. To be honest, it is really scary. I’m naturally conservative, like to plan things out to minimize uncertainty, minimize risk, etc. Moving here would be a huge deal and require a big leap of faith.
One thing that gives me pause is that I’m newly retired. If we moved here full-time, then it would substantially impact the planning I have done for retirement. Taxes are significantly higher in Italy than in the U.S. There are some possible ways to mitigate this impact, but this then restricts where we would be able to move. The lower cost of living here would offset the higher taxes to some extent, but not completely.
Another big issue is that we’d be an ocean away from our family. It is true that it is only a nine-hour flight from Atlanta to Rome, but would this impact how often we would see our children? What if we needed to come back to the U.S. for an emergency?
Selling our home, our furniture, most of our possessions, our vehicles — having to move our cat who can’t take a 50 minute car ride without a catastrophe — all these things, especially taken together, are huge.
In conclusion, after being here one month, I really am unable to say. A part of me says that it would be best if we follow our heart, show courage, and just do this now while we can. The analytical side of me says “whoa, not so fast.” I’m not really sure if I will feel any different after another two months have passed and it is time to return home. What will I know then that I do not already know?
Later in life, will I regret not doing this? I certainly do not want to be in the final chapter of life and thinking I wish I had.
It will be really interesting to read Paula’s blog on this same subject. Of course, we’ve had conversations about this, but there is something more substantial about organizing your thoughts and putting them down on paper (so to speak). Both of us have refused sneak peaks at the other’s post, so this is going to be interesting.
A presto!
Thank you for sharing, Marty, what a fun little game the two of you have made!
And your post makes me wonder…do we ever know whether we made the right decisions in life?
I love seeing you and Paula work through this. It is affirming and instructive for me!
Hi Angela. It reminds me of the poem by Robert Frost – where the path diverged into two different roads – and he pondered on making the right choice, knowing that he might not be able to return back to this place again.
Ciao Marty,
First of all, loved your update. You captured the mental gymnastics perfectly — the back and forth between “this could be amazing” and “what if we spontaneously combust?” I think anyone who’s seriously considered this leap knows that feeling way too well.
That said, I have to call you out a little. I think you’re focusing way too much on the “higher taxes” and not nearly enough on the “holy crap, life is actually better here” side of the equation. Yeah, Italy will take a little more out of your IRA distribution — but in exchange, you get a functioning society. Stuff like healthcare, affordable real food, a sense of community, and the thrilling experience of cars the size of golf carts whizzing by you on cobblestone alleys. Worth it.
Plus — spoiler alert — you’re not going to be pulling $100k/year to live a comfortable, happy life here unless you’re planning on eating truffles for breakfast and showering in Prosecco. The math is already in your favor — your daily life just costs less without you needing to live like a hermit.
Also — not gonna lie — I’m totally trying to subtly brainwash you because I’m picturing us about ten years from now as two old guys sitting at a rickety table in the piazza, drinking grappa, playing cards, yelling at pigeons, and complaining about how Americans are still microwaving their pasta. Don’t ruin the dream, man.
Whatever you and Paula decide, just know I’m rooting for you — and if you do end up here, the first spritz is on me. (Loser at cards buys the second.)
Ciao Caesar,
Thanks for the advice on keeping a balance between where the heart leads versus what is most practical and easy. Actually today we are leaving for a couple of days. I used the 7% flat tax towns database from your website, http://www.caesartheday.com, and we are going to explore the dozen or so towns in Abruzzo that are between 10,000 and 19,000 population in size (keeping a 1,000 buffer).
A presto,
Marty
Ciao Marty,
Sounds like an excellent plan — Abruzzo has some real gems, and I’m glad you’re taking the time to walk the streets, feel the rhythm of daily life, and see what clicks. You can’t really know a place until you wander into a bar, hear the morning chatter, and nearly get run over by an 86-year-old on a Vespa.
One small thing to keep in mind as you explore: while Abruzzo offers a lot of that sweet spot you’re looking for — walkable towns, reasonable size, authentic vibe — don’t completely cross Umbria or Le Marche off your list yet. They also have a few towns that qualify for the 7% flat tax. That said, most of them are much smaller than what you’re aiming for (think villages rather than towns), so they might not have the everyday buzz or community energy you’re hoping to find. Still, depending on your trip timing, they could be worth at least a peek if you’re feeling adventurous.
But honestly, I think your instincts are right: finding the right place is about more than checking off criteria — it’s that feeling you get when you sit in the piazza, watch the world go by, and quietly think, “Yeah, I could live like this.”
Can’t wait to hear what you and Paula discover on this next round of scouting. Fingers crossed you find a town that doesn’t just tick the boxes, but pulls at the heart a little too.
We plan on writing a post on the 7% towns in this area when we are done. We’ve already seen a majority of the ones near Spoleto. We are going to stop by Offida in Marche on the way back to Spoleto. By that time we’ll have a good feel of this piece.
You are right, there is a huge factor, perhaps most important one, of the feel of a town. Some are alive and proud – while some seem to be in a true decline. A walk through the town and some piazza time in the evening seems to always make this clear.